#WhenIWasAKid

I remember when I first started to officially learn how to write, I was given a pencil. I didn't know why, but I only knew that if my writing was ugly, or if I wrote something wrong, I could use an eraser to remove the mistakes. Sometimes, due to the quality of the eraser, the paper would look dirty with black stains. Sometimes, I could erase my mistake till the paper looked as good as it was like before I've written anything on it. Sometimes, because I tried too hard to erase my mistake, the paper would get crumpled.

But all the same, the mistake could be erased, and I could write again, write my words to look better, to sound better.

When I finally.. I suppose you could say when I finally grew up, or transitioned to high school, they told us we should start writing with pens. With pens, you can't use the eraser. You'd have to use either the liquid paper, roller, or the blue eraser. With the liquid paper and roller, what we'd be doing is cover up our mistakes, and write our correction atop it. I don't know about you, but I dislike using either of them.. because it's ugly when a sudden patch of white that doesn't mesh with your paper's original white pops up. The same for the roller, except that it offers a straight patch (well, unless you couldn't roll straight).

As for the blue eraser, I remember using it. I didn't like it. For one, it doesn't erase your mistake entirely. Next, it will definitely crumple up your paper (or sometimes get it torn) as long as you use too much force (or maybe it's just me).

Then I thought to myself - so that's how it's like growing up. So that's why adults are so stressed.

When we are young, we are given the opportunity to make mistakes. People will usually overlook what the young do wrong, because well, the social norm is that they're still young, they know nothing, they make mistakes, it is normal. So some people erase their mistakes nicely, and they improve, they don't repeat the same mistake anymore, they've erased it so well that traces of it were left unseen. Some repeat the certain mistakes over and over again. Some don't bother correcting themselves, and it becomes a label of them.

Then when we grow up, we are given the pen to write with. I remember when I was given the right to write with pens, I loved it so much. It felt so.. grown up. Then I made a mistake. I remember trying to erase it with the eraser. It told the naive me, nope, it's not that easy. So someone told me to use the blue section of the eraser. So I tried. I tried so very hard to erase. Yes, the color did fade. But no, it didn't disappear entirely. It stayed there, with my page crumpled up, lots of blue eraser dust, and a tiny little hole on my page. I was so annoyed I never used the blue eraser ever again.

So I started using the liquid paper. I didn't like it either. For starters, you'd have to wait for the liquid to dry up before you could write anything on it.. and then after a few days, your mistakes can be seen through the layer of liquid. What's the point then, I thought? Same goes to the roller, although, if I had a preference, it would be the roller. The roller has its flaws too. If you don't apply enough pressure when you use it, your layer of white won't stick, and when you write on it, .....it's just ugly.

I thought to myself.... that's what adults do. When we make mistakes, we try to cover it up. Sometimes we cover it up with lots of things. Sometimes if we're lucky, the outcome will look nice anyway.. and sometimes, people see our mistakes, how we covered it up, and they judge (it's a natural human habit. People judge. It just depends on how much they love you to overlook or better, forget their judgment ;)).

So nowadays, when I make mistakes, I don't bother to use the liquid paper, the roller or yuck, the blue eraser. I just add two lines above the mistake i.e. no no +1 to tell people, yes I made a mistake. Yes you can look at it. Yes you can bother about it. But I won't.. because I've already aware of it. I acknowledge that I have made one, and I have cancelled my mistake. It is and will always be there, but I have done something about it.

I'm going to learn from them, my mistakes. The only difference is, now I have the opportunity to choose between using the pencil and the pen, and naturally choosing to have perfectly clean slate to start on for my mistakes or just don't bother. It shouldn't make any difference whether I was a kid, or an adult. What matters is, regardless of age, we will make mistakes, we should make mistakes, and it is highly recommended to learn from our mistakes.